Saturday, May 21, 2005


hello i am R*U*G*B*Y and i am a R*A*T who is dedicated to pormoting SCIENCE EDUCATION for children!!!

Always put on gloves when touching science!

and boy do i have an exciting sience report today, kids??!! it is devided into parts because that is how you do science reports!!


ookay first. who knows what ANTHRORPOLYLOGY means? well, it is defined in the dictionayry as "the scientific study of the origin, the behavior, and the physical, social, and cultural development of humans," i.e. primates...

hmmm intresting... looking further in the dictionary i find ANTHROPOPHAGY, "the eating of human flesh." hmmmm.... don't tell uncle bob but last week i bit him (not on purpose he was giving me a piece of cookie & my mouth slipped by accident) and some BLOOD came out of his figner and to be honest it actually tasted pretty good.

of course i love uncle bob very much and DONT WANT TO EAT HIM because he is nice to me.

i'm just saying that IF there were a nucleuar apocalypse or something and i HAD to eat uncle bob's roasterd corpse to survive, i wouldnt exactly have to force myself, you know?

mmmmmmm, crispy bacon-y long pig...

children come back! where was i? oh yes, ANTROPOLOGY. so as a rat i am intersted in the lifestyles and culture of human primates, and had a good opporutunity for field observations last night!!

what happened was that a friend of uncle bob's came to visit. his name was james and he was very polite!!! he did not go "eeew a rat!" like some of uncle bobs guests do! instead he talked to me and petted me and scratched my little pink ears!!!! i immediatly took a liking to james as you can imagine.

okay but the ANTHORPOLGY part is coming. uncle bob and james ordered a pizza and ate it while watching telvision and i got some too!!! it was a white pizza with 3 kinds of cheese!! of course pizza is very oily so i had to groom myslef after eating it and then i saw taht uncle bob and james were also groomign each other, just as we rats do!!


Science has yielded many practical technologies
their methodology was peculiar though. first uncle bob sat on james lap and used his tongue to groom james' lips and teeth, like one of those cleaner wrasse fishies in coral reefs!!

then james grabbed uncle bob by the shoulders and cleaned his mouth in the same way. they groomed and groomed and groomed.

sometimes they would take a break, i guess to inspect the results, and say "oh man" or "wow," presumbly intending to express "wow man your lips, teeth, and toungue are still covred with parasites and food praticles!!!" because then they would go right back to grooming.

FINALLY after what seemed like forevr!! at which point their mouths must have been so clean you could see your refelction in their gums, they stopped for a minute and took off their shirts and strated to groom each others torsos. this is a standard part of the rat grooming regimen but usually is done only AFTER a thorough groming of the ears, head, and nose. all of which steps were neglectd by uncle Bob and james in their obsesive/complusive DENTAL HYGIENE!!! strange!

anyway soon after they got up off the couch and uncle bob gave me some rasin bran cereal in my blue bowl and then they wnet in the bedroom... i assume the grooming continued but im not sure becauese they shut the door!! since the copmuter is in uncle bobs bedroom i couldn't go on the internet so i ate the raisin bran and rearranged the newspaper strips in my BLUE FORT to make it more pretty and i never did discover the secrets of primate grooming??


my conclusion is that ANTHROPLOLOGY is a stupid science. im sorry chidlren, next time we will talk about something more interesting and fun like how to make a REAL VOLCANO in your kitchen!!


Professor Rugby T. Rat, Certrified Sciencetist

ps. go away now i am sleepy

Rugby the Rat was an intellectually gifted representative of the species Rattus norvegicus; now he dwelleth on a higher plane and aspires to become a member of the Hindu pantheon. But he still likes food.

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