why???? you may ask. well!! it is so I CAN WIN the contest that is beign run by the washingtgon POST, a neigborhood newspaper that they sell in ALexndria virginia where i share an aptartment w/ Uncle Bob, who is a big talking monkey primate but he is nice anyway and i lobve him ♥ ♥ ♥ (although not in a Governer mcGreevey way) because he gives me crunchy cereal and ONE TIME he gave me a ritz cracker WITH BETTY CROCKERS CHOCOLATE FUDGE FROSTIGN!!! i thought i had been assumed bodily into heaven but it truned out that i had only fallen backwards off teh sofa in my excitement! i bet Heaven is like that though with soft fluffy lint to sleep on & CHOCOLATY CRACKERS. Plus corn and
oh yeah i was sayign that there is a contest for BEST POLITICAL BLOG that is being orgininzed by a local paper called the Washington Pots. i want to win so that they will put a PITCHER of me in the newpsaper and maybe a lady RAT will see it & she will wnat to go all the way with me!!!
ok so i need a political position.
i hereby choose BUSH as my Canadidate because Repbulican starts with R and so does Rugby (which is my name), & so does r-a-t (which i am one of).
also, Kerry is married to mrs. Teresa
hines hinz Heinz, and i read somewhere on teh Internet that they make Heiznes™ Ketchup out of liqified RATS!!
disgsuting, unnnatural and immoral? YES!
true? i dont know but are you really wliling 2 take that chance??!?
so plz vote w/ your conscience! hint: the "R" praty (i.e. Presidnt BUSH) in November and the "R" blog (i.e. MINE!!!) in the WAshington post contest!!!
rubgy ~~( )8:>
When Koko started pointing to nine or 10 too often, a dental appointment was made. And because anesthesia would be involved, her handlers used the opportunity to give Koko a head-to-toe exam.
"She's quite articulate," volunteer Johnpaul Slater said. "She'll tell us how bad she's feeling, how bad the pain is. It looked like it was time to do something."
Recently Rugby and I got a communique from someone who might've had a few too many beers, but it was such a nice letter that we both agreed it should go on the site.
I'm not familiar with McSorely's or the cathedral, but I know there's a Ukrainian population on the Lower East Side, and especially in the East Village. The pan-Slavic café "Beceлкa" (Veselka), on 2nd Avenue at 9th St., was a favorite of mine -- try the pierogi if you're in the neighborhood.
I learned the technique -- the slow, laborious technique -- from one of my Russian professors in college. As to the resemblance between me and your friend, I am ethnically 1/4 Polish through my maternal grandfather, and have been told more than a few times that I have Slavic-looking features.
|Always put on gloves when touching science!|
and boy do i have an exciting sience report today, kids??!! it is devided into parts because that is how you do science reports!!
ookay first. who knows what ANTHRORPOLYLOGY means? well, it is defined in the dictionayry as "the scientific study of the origin, the behavior, and the physical, social, and cultural development of humans," i.e. primates...
hmmm intresting... looking further in the dictionary i find ANTHROPOPHAGY, "the eating of human flesh." hmmmm.... don't tell uncle bob but last week i bit him (not on purpose he was giving me a piece of cookie & my mouth slipped by accident) and some BLOOD came out of his figner and to be honest it actually tasted pretty good.
of course i love uncle bob very much and DONT WANT TO EAT HIM because he is nice to me. i'm just saying that IF there were a nucleuar apocalypse or something and i HAD to eat uncle bob's roasterd corpse to survive, i wouldnt exactly have to force myself, you know?
mmmmmmm, crispy bacon-y long pig...
children come back! where was i? oh yes, ANTROPOLOGY. so as a rat i am intersted in the lifestyles and culture of human primates, and had a good opporutunity for field observations last night!!
what happened was that a friend of uncle bob's came to visit. his name was james and he was very polite!!! he did not go "eeew a rat!" liek some of uncle bobs guests do! instead he talked to me and petted me and scratched my little pink ears!!!! i immediatly took a likign to james as you can imagine.
okay but the ANTHORPOLGY part is coming. uncle bob and james ordered a pizza and ate it while watching telvision and i got some too!!! it was a white pizza with 3 kinds of cheese!! of course pizza is very oily so i had to groom myslef after eating it and then i saw taht uncle bob and james were also groomign each other, just as we rats do!!
|Science has yielded many practical technologies|
then james grabbed uncle bob by the shoulders and cleaned his mouth in the same way. they groomed and groomed and groomed.
sometimes they would take a break, i guess to inspect the results, and say "oh man" or "wow," presumbly intending to express "wow man your lips, teeth, and toungue are still covred with parasites and food praticles!!!" because then they would go right back to grooming.
FINALLY after what seemed like forevr!! at which point their mouths must have been so clean you could see your refelction in their gums, they stopped for a minute and took off their shirts and strated to groom each others torsos. this is a standard part of the rat grooming regimen but usually is done only AFTER a thorough groming of the ears, head, and nose. all of which steps were neglectd by uncle Bob and james in their obsesive/complusive DENTAL HYGIENE!!! strange!
anyway soon after they got up off the couch and uncle bob gave me some rasin bran cereal in my blue bowl and then they wnet in the bedroom... i assume the grooming continued but im not sure becauese they shut the door!! since the copmuter is in uncle bobs bedroom i couldn't go on the internet so i ate the raisin bran and rearranged the newspaper strips in my BLUE FORT to make it more pretty and i never did discover the secrets of primate grooming??
my conclusion is that ANTHROPLOLOGY is a stupid science. im sorry chidlren, next time we will talk about something more interesting and fun like how to make a REAL VOLCANO in your kitchen!!
Professor Rugby T. Rat, Certrified Sciencetist
ps. go away now i am sleepy