hi am rugby and i am a rat. the new place we are living in is vast and cavernous. i can run and run and run and run on the floor before i come to a wall.

this extreme flooriness is a bug, not a feature, because i prefer to be near walls. if you put me in the middle of a room i will make a beeline for the nearest wall and then stick to it. you may ask ''why rugby oh why do you run along the wall???'' well the answer is that i have an even bigger mustache than all the guys from the Village People put together.

my whiskers stick out past my shoulders and i use them as feelers. when i feel a wall brushing against my mustache, i know for sure that i am running in a straight line, and this way i can't get lost.

sometimes uncle bob sits down on the living room floor indian style and puts me in his lap. i will crawl around and over and under his feet and legs and butt and up his shirt and across his shoulder and back down. then around and over and under and up and across and down again. should i leave the uncle bob oasis and venture across the vast uncharted Rug Desert in search of a nice safe wall? no, i think i will stay and crawl around and over and under and up...

At this point, I like to stretch out one leg in the direction of the nearest piece of furniture, thus providing Rugby a safe route wallward.

...and down and -- hey, this wasn't here before. it looks like a wall but smells like uncle bob. i wonder where it goes...