Thursday, November 18, 2004
EXCITING OPPROTUNATY for LFG READERS!!!
HELLO! i am Rugby the just a civilian rat, abnd i am thrilled to announce a brand new SREVICE exclusively for readers of LFG and Rubgy'S RAT Resort™!!!
...Officer R*U*G*B*Y of the Offical U.S. BITING PATROL®!!
(thnak you Soccer now go eat some nice mung bean spourts or somthing, the grownups are busy??)
beep beeop!
hello, Officer R*U*G*B*Y of teh U.S. BITING PATROL here!! you have been BITTEN on the FEMORAL ARTERY because someone told me you are STUPID & MEAN!! i'd put pressure on that if i were you, UNLESS!! youre too stupid!?? bye! XOXOXO ♥ ♥ -Rugby!!
so, you can see how that woudl put the fear of God into 'em!
HELLO! i am Rugby the just a civilian rat, abnd i am thrilled to announce a brand new SREVICE exclusively for readers of LFG and Rubgy'S RAT Resort™!!!
friends, there are hunderds if not 1000s of STUPID PEOPLE roamign freely on the Web, causing daily vexation and fur-shedding for those of us gifted with B-R-I-A-N-S!! i wont mention any names (such as Gordon) but i'll bet many of you have had violint daydreams after crossign paths w/ a noboxious TROLL, much like this poor woman here:
DONT WORRY nice whipped-cream lady, for the Digital Age® solution to your porblems is on the way!!
[police siren SFX!!]
Wait, did I say "just a CLIVILIAN rat"?!? oops, my bad, because here comes...
[police siren SFX!!]
...Officer R*U*G*B*Y of the Offical U.S. BITING PATROL®!!
Citizens, do you have a
[police siren SFX!!]
(thnak you Soccer now go eat some nice mung bean spourts or somthing, the grownups are busy??)
do you have a Special Someone who needs a savage biteing?? of COURSE YOU DO! cant do it yourself because your Jiminimy cricket "conscience" would bother you? well that is no problem for the BITING PATORL® because it is a Proven Fact that rats have no moral awareness!! (i read it in a book somewere i think maybe it was St. Augustine the Hippo)
SO! dont get mad, get a rat to bite someone for you!!
here let me give you a FREE demonstration!!
imagine that it's an orfdinary day on an ordinary blog (much like LFG), you are readign and posting & having a carefree time, tra-la-la, when
S U D D E N L Y ! ! !
#57 
Teresa H.K. 11/17/2004 06:28PM PST
Teresa H.K. 11/17/2004 06:28PM PSTI want America's gays and lesbians to think of me as "Mama T" -- I've always seen myself as a warm, nurturing Earth Mother, kind of like Cass Elliot, but with a sexier body! Oh, God, can I tell you how deeply I was moved by "A Beautiful Thing," in which a working-class British mum learns to accept her gay son? You know, it's sad how religious beliefs will sometimes come between parents and children...
oh yuk it is a boring TROLL!!! now look what happens when an LFGer tries to maek it go away...
#69 Throbert McGee 11/17/2004 06:47PM PST
Throbert McGee 11/17/2004 06:47PM PST
#57 Teresa H.K.:
I want America's gays and lesbians to think of me as "Mama T" -- I've always thought of myself as a warm, nurturing Earth Mother, kind of like Cass Elliot, but with a sexier body!
nice try, homo, but it only leads to this pathetic speckltacle:
#105 Teresa H.K. 11/17/2004 09:02PM PST
Teresa H.K. 11/17/2004 09:02PM PSTHmmm, so much for "freedom of expression." Go ahead and ask Charles to ban me if you want!
now look how muhc more effective the resluts are when the BITING PATROL® goes into action!!!
#83 Rugby the Rat 11/17/2004 06:52PM PST
Rugby the Rat 11/17/2004 06:52PM PST
#57 Teresa H.K.:
I want America's gays and lesbians to think of me as "Mama T" -- I've always thought of myself as a warm, nurturing Earth Mother, kind of like Cass EllioooOOOOAUUUGGHHH, MERCIFUL CHRIST!!! • . . • •* . • .
• • . .. *. •.. .* •. * •
* • - . (a pool of delicious blood!!) .
beep beeop!
hello, Officer R*U*G*B*Y of teh U.S. BITING PATROL here!! you have been BITTEN on the FEMORAL ARTERY because someone told me you are STUPID & MEAN!! i'd put pressure on that if i were you, UNLESS!! youre too stupid!?? bye! XOXOXO ♥ ♥ -Rugby!!
so, you can see how that woudl put the fear of God into 'em!
now you may ask, "how do I summon the BITEING PATROL®? it is simple!!! click on the PayPal button to your right and deposit $3.00 -- that is, THREE DOLLAR$ -- into uncle bob's acct. (he Handles my finacnes). when you fill out the Pyapal form, plz include the copmlete URL for the post that annoyed you, otherwise how will i know who to bite??!
also, plz indicate how hard the BITE shuld be:
1 = skin not broken (pick this if you watn to play a prank on a friend but not hrut them -- rat bites can be FUN!!)
2 = mild bleeding, plus vrebal abuse
3 = Fangoria quantities of blood
can brutal VENGEACNE be so E-Z???
YES IT CAN! relief is just a click away!!
