♪♫♭ ...we happy in My! Blue! Heaven! ♪♫♭
I'm excited to announce that there's a new roommate in Apartment 202 -- everyone, meet Soccer:
Say hello to everyone, little guy!
Rugby, Soccer is still very little... maybe even smaller than you were when I first brought you home to my parents' house from PetCo. He came from the same store, in Rolling Valley Mall. Uncle Bob forgot to change the address for his voter registration in time, so he had to ask his sister, Kym, for a ride to the polling place in Burke. (We both voted for Bush, by the way, but she's always been a Republican because of her pro-life stance, whereas I was a swing voter this year because I think that Islamic jihad is a real danger to the U.S., to the West in general, and to the developing world -- but the current Democratic Party would prefer to ignore this menace.)
...and since Rugby and I have birthdays just a week apart, she decided that another rat would make a great gift.
Rugby, we discussed this. I put Soccer in your old cage so that he'll have a safe, confined space while he acclimates to his new surroundings and to his new family. You have the desk and your blue fort and the whole living room to hang out in!
Like you're one to talk, Mr. Destructo. I didn't really appreciate those holes you made in my quilt.
You are one scare-quote away from being snake food, little Mister. Did you know that the handsome guy* who just moved in next door has a terrarium with a 12-foot python?
Yes, he does. I saw him moving it in. Beautiful coloration in the scales.
Well, if you promise to be nice to your new little brother, you need never find out...
How the hell did he hear of Matt Damon...
Oh, well. Anyway, Soccer definitely seems to be shyer by nature than Rugby ever was -- he doesn't mind being picked up, but he's more reluctant to come out of his hidey-box in the cage.
The most striking difference is the way they take food from my hand. Remember the scene in Orca where the killer whale leaps 18 feet out of the water to crunch off Bo Derek's leg? That's Rugby, from the day I got him, and I have the tiny little scars on my fingertips to bear witness.
Whereas Soccer takes food like a supermodel ordering lunch: "Hmmm, should I splurge and get a crouton on my salad? Sooooo many carbs, but I guess I can always throw it up later..."
Soccer eats food from his dish with gusto, mind you -- he's just very very hesitant with finger-feeding.
See, Rugby, he's a brainy little rat after all... like his big brother.
Um, you're getting All About Eve mixed up wi--
* I made up the part about the python to scare Rugby, but the new guy next door in 201 really is handsome. And so is the big strapping redhead with the beagle, in 204. And the two guys in the basement apartment downstairs. Basically, I'm surrounded by good-looking men who seem to be single, and I'm such a social scaredy-cat that I still don't know whether they're hetero or homo. I need to figure out something to borrow...