Wednesday, November 10, 2004


♪♫♭ ...we happy in My! Blue! Heaven! ♪♫♭

I'm excited to announce that there's a new roommate in Apartment 202 -- everyone, meet Soccer:

Soccer the Rat

Say hello to everyone, little guy!


he is STUPID! he cannot even type rihgt!!?

Rugby, Soccer is still very little... maybe even smaller than you were when I first brought you home to my parents' house from PetCo. He came from the same store, in Rolling Valley Mall. Uncle Bob forgot to change the address for his voter registration in time, so he had to ask his sister, Kym, for a ride to the polling place in Burke. (We both voted for Bush, by the way, but she's always been a Republican because of her pro-life stance, whereas I was a swing voter this year because I think that Islamic jihad is a real danger to the U.S., to the West in general, and to the developing world -- but the current Democratic Party would prefer to ignore this menace.)

hi hi scr!!^%@(FDHV

SHUT UP!! and stay out of my room!

Anyway, Kym happens to be a fan of Rugby...

yes your sitser is PRETTY and NICE!!! i sat in her lap wehn she came over on Electoin Day and she knows how rats like to be petted!!

...and since Rugby and I have birthdays just a week apart, she decided that another rat would make a great gift.

well she thought wrogn!!

So we stopped by pet store after I voted. Soccer is a shy little guy, but he doesn't object to being handled, and he immediately developed a liking to shoulder rides, just like Rugby did when I first brought him home.

yeah, way to copy me, COPYER!! he is a copycat & ugly AND STUPID. but you dont have to take my word for it -- regardez-vous:
Hey soccer! homo Retard say "YW^&*EHJ2MLC"??


ha ha ha! Quod erat demonstrandum, he is a certifliable grade-A moron. AND HE KEESPS GOING IN MY ROOM??!!

Rugby, we discussed this. I put Soccer in your old cage so that he'll have a safe, confined space while he acclimates to his new surroundings and to his new family. You have the desk and your blue fort and the whole living room to hang out in!

well okay but he better not BREAK MY STuff!!!

Like you're one to talk, Mr. Destructo. I didn't really appreciate those holes you made in my quilt.

will you plz let go of that?!!? i didnt know it was your qulit and anyway i only chewed alogn one side!! just put that edge on the side of the bed agasint the wall and your "guests" will never notice!!!

You are one scare-quote away from being snake food, little Mister. Did you know that the handsome guy* who just moved in next door has a terrarium with a 12-foot python?


Yes, he does. I saw him moving it in. Beautiful coloration in the scales.

i'll bet you're makign it up... is there really a python next door??!

Well, if you promise to be nice to your new little brother, you need never find out...

oh okay. hi soccer! NICE soccer!



How the hell did he hear of Matt Damon...
Oh, well. Anyway, Soccer definitely seems to be shyer by nature than Rugby ever was -- he doesn't mind being picked up, but he's more reluctant to come out of his hidey-box in the cage.

The most striking difference is the way they take food from my hand. Remember the scene in Orca where the killer whale leaps 18 feet out of the water to crunch off Bo Derek's leg? That's Rugby, from the day I got him, and I have the tiny little scars on my fingertips to bear witness.

duh, you should pull your figners away faster!! anyway i hardly ever bite you anymore, except sometimes

Whereas Soccer takes food like a supermodel ordering lunch: "Hmmm, should I splurge and get a crouton on my salad? Sooooo many carbs, but I guess I can always throw it up later..."

Soccer eats food from his dish with gusto, mind you -- he's just very very hesitant with finger-feeding.

♥ ♥ ♥ !!

hey?!? where'd he learn how to do HTML special charatcers!?

See, Rugby, he's a brainy little rat after all... like his big brother.

I KONW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, butterign me up!! look, it's OK with me if he stays BUT he had better not try any eve harrington stuff?? i am NOT ready for my colse-up mister demille!!

Um, you're getting All About Eve mixed up wi--



Holy Moley! i thought that MATT DAMON thing was jsut a fluke like when a million monkeys (real mokneys not talkign hominids like Uncle Bob although they are both primates!) sit down at milloin typerwiters and eventually you get Shakespeare. but i think you have to give teh monkeys special dRUGs to make it work?!?


* I made up the part about the python to scare Rugby, but the new guy next door in 201 really is handsome. And so is the big strapping redhead with the beagle, in 204. And the two guys in the basement apartment downstairs. Basically, I'm surrounded by good-looking men who seem to be single, and I'm such a social scaredy-cat that I still don't know whether they're hetero or homo. I need to figure out something to borrow...


Posted by Rugby the Rat | 4:46 PM |

Rugby the Rat was an intellectually gifted representative of the species Rattus norvegicus; now he dwelleth on a higher plane and aspires to become a member of the Hindu pantheon. But he still likes food.

Rugby plays a tiny violin Send mail to Rugby and Uncle Bob

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