Don't let on that you know, but someone is going to be One Year Old on Hallowe'en!
I don't know his exact date of birth, actually, but based on his size when I picked him out from a pile of squirmy white siblings last November ("Hey, lucky fella," commented the young PetCo employee, "you get to be somebody's friend instead of snake food!") it's a safe bet that he came into the world in early November or late October...
IT IS CREATVIE TIME!!!!
hello i AM Rugby and i am a RAT and did you know that "rat" is an analgram of ART?! well it is true! but if you have trouble with the anagramming, you'll have to wrok it out for yourself later, because right now we are goign to do ARTS N CRAFTS!!!
okay FRIST!!! you will need some paper. now you can buy parper at the store but i am an eco-conscious rat so i RECYCLE!!! after all, we rats will be here capering about in teh fersh air long after you talking monekeys have vaporized yourslelves or evolved into limbless sedentary couch salamanders, so it's improtant to keep mother earth PRETTY!! Uncle bob adds: "Be kind to trees, sweety darligns!!" whatever that means.
so anyway, there are MANY sources of paper to recycle for arts-n-carfts. A nice glossy piece of papper came to our apartment door just today! all by itself!!! On the front it said:
Jim MORAN for Congress
okay that seemed reasonable. uncle Bob, who is smarter than most primates just liek i am mroe intellectual than most RATS, told me that you should vote for the Candidate, not for the praty, because even if you mostly agree more w/ the Democrats than teh repubLICNs or vice versa, there is sometiems a MAVERICK worth votign for.
that good advice notwithstandign, on the back of the flyer it said:
Jim Moran is a strong voice against the misguided and irresponsible policies of the Bush-Cheney Administration
well!! as you may know, uncle Bob and I supprot the re-election of President bush because (a) republican starts with R and so does Rugby, and (b) it is a proven FACT that the wife of john kerry, namely teresa Hinezez-kerrY, makes ketchup from liquified rats!!!
in light of tihs, i asked Uncle bob if i could use this paper to reclycle for CRADFTS??!? and he said yes okay. so now we are ready for
STEP TWO!!! which is to get some
sis scizzo schizo scisssors and cut the paper into NICE SHAPES! now you can make whatever shape you want. since it is getting to be wintertime, here are some instructions to maek SNOWFLAKES -- amazingly they come out all hexagony like real snowflakes even though you strat with a square?!?! those wily Japs!
well the techniqwe is from oralgummy, isnt it??
Yes, the method of producing a six-sided design by folding a square sheet of paper comes from origami -- I learned to make paper snowflakes this way when I lived in Okinawa as a kid. But that doesn't mean you ca--
so ANYWAY as i was saying befroe uncle buttinsky INTERRPUPTED MY POST, here is how to fold and cut the paper snowfalkes:
(i remember snow from last year when I was still little, and uncle bob let me crawl in teh snow on the widnowsill. it was white just like my fur and it made my little pink feet, my long pink tail, and my LARGE TESTES feel cool and minty...)
but althogh paper snoqwflakes are VERY PRETTY, i had ohter plans for the VOTE Democratic recylced paper. uncle bob helped me with the cuttign because they do not make scissrors in rat-size but it was MY DESIGN!!! when it was done we put it on the door for the neighbors to admire! here is a photo:
"W: 4 More" Design ©2004 ♥♥♥ Rubgy the Rat!! ♥♥♥
UPDATE!!!! reader sarah d. writes in the commints section:
You have inspired me. I'm going to make my own sign today!
thnak you for the nice words SARAH! If you want to take a digital pictuer of your SIgn when it is finshed, plz email it to us the link is to the right --->
A cartoon interlude
(It's been on my hard drive for some years -- don't remember the artist's name or where I originally found it, alas. It was actually part of a running online strip.)
As I posted below, Rugby cunningly stole my doggie bag full of tortilla chips while I slumbered, stashing some of the chips in the foyer by my shoes and devouring the rest -- or so I assumed!
hi i am rugby and i am a rat!! do you know waht happens when you ASS-U-ME things?
What happens, Rugby?
well it depends!!! sometimes your oringinal hyptothesis proves to be correct & sometimes it truns out that you were braking up the wrong tree??!
Oh. Yes, you're right -- it can turn out either way. And in this case, my assumption was wrong. Rugby hadn't
eaten all of the rest of the chips -- though he definitely gorged himself. Like a man who maintains multiple bank accounts, he split up his assets (the tortilla chips) into two
caches: one by my shoes, which I found Saturday morning after grayp's
party, and a second pile in the back of my closet, which I only found today. I removed all the chips I could find in the closet, to see what would transpire...
Gluttony not seen since the orgies of ancient Rome
This past Friday, one of the participants on the political blog Little Green Footballs invited a group of "lizards" -- as LGF regulars have nicknamed themselves -- to watch the second Presidential debate and enjoy a generous spread of munchies. Our hostess, known online as grayp, has corresponded with Rugby online and admires his acute socio-political commentary...
yes grayp is a nice lady!!!
...but she was unable to include Rugby in the invitation because she owns an energetic little beagle called Molly.
uncle bob, plz convey to grayp that there are no hrard feelings on my prat??! after you explianed to me taht beagles have a genectically hardwired teRROR Of rats, hmamsters, gerbils, mice, & other small rodenst, i fully understood why grayp could not host me. it must be difficlut to care for a pet w/ that kind of phobia & i coommend grayp for puttign Mollys intrests first.
Rugby, that is very gracious and mature of you.
well i am almost 1 YEAR OLD now!!! that is past college age for rats!!
Yes, I know, and since we're not sure exactly when you were born, I think maybe we can have your birthday on Hallowe'en...
uncle bob, put up the scrary photoshopped picture of me!!
You mean this one?
yes!!! thats what i want to be for HALLLOWEEN / my brithday!!!
Okay, we can discuss that later.
Anyway, grayp had laid out a really nice spread of chips, breads, cheeses, and fruit to keep our stamina up as we vied to shout out the best retorts to Kerry.
(I should mention that LGF "lizards" are overwhelmingly voting for Bush in 2004; many are lifelong Republicans, and many more -- myself among them -- are former Democrats who have recoiled from the worldviews of the Democratic left and swung rightward for Bush. I'll happily go back to the Democrats in 2008 if they get their act together, but not this time around.)
L to R: Right Wing Conspirator (aka Devon) with Kayla the dog, Ann (aka Ann), EW1 (SG) (aka Scott), grayp (aka Pam) with Molly the dog, Frank IBC (aka Frank)
But I'm digressing from the topic, which is FOOD.
yay!!! i like food...
Yes, I know. I would single out grayp's bowl of green grapes dusted with granulated sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. I normally don't believe in sugaring fresh fruit, but the addition of the spices was simple and brilliant... YUM. I think she mentioned something about pre-soaking the grapes in orange juice, too -- maybe I can persuade her to post the recipe in the comments section.
Anyway, when it was time to leave, grayp was urging us to take some of the surplus hors d'ouevres off her hands, and I took home a ziplock bag with big handfuls of tortilla chips and peasant bread, along with some cheeses and fruit wrapped separately. I got home all drunk and sleepy, and had the presence of mind to put the perishables in the fridge, but left the ziplock bag of chips and bread on the couch before crawling into bed. I also left the "basement door" of Rugby's multilevel habitat wide open...
So, I wake up the next morning, and the bag's nowhere to be seen. I finally found it empty under the TV cart, looking as though a mako shark had been at it. I discovered a small handful of tortilla chips and some half-eaten bread slices cached next to my shoes in the foyer. And in Rugby's cage, I found one very drowsy rat suddenly looking like William Howard Taft.
ha ha it was SO wroth it!!!
Here, lardass, get some exercise...